


Awkwardly Admitting Attraction

by karuvapatta



Series: Loki Really Wants To Bang His Brother AU [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Pre-Thor (2011), Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 13:03:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3448184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karuvapatta/pseuds/karuvapatta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor confronts Loki about certain nasty rumours and, in the process, comes to several uncomfortable conclusions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkwardly Admitting Attraction

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting stuff from tumblr! Enjoy :)

Rumours concerning his brother range from outrageous to downright bizarre. If they come to his attention, Thor avenges the first and ignores the latter.

This, however, is something he cannot ignore.

_Loki likes to bed men_ , is the latest gossip. The very idea is shameful. Thor ought to find whoever came up with this lie and pound some sense into them—teach them not to disrespect his brother—

"What is bothering you?" Loki asks, irritated.

Their hunt is going abysmally. Thor has to admit it is partially due to his own wretched mood. The canopy of dark, stormy clouds hangs above the forest, drenching everything with unrelenting downpour. No matter how he tries, he cannot chase them away, through his own power or with Mjolnir's aid.

After another fruitless day, they decide to make camp in this dank cave. Loki lights it up and heats the air with seidr, clearly content to dry his clothes and hair while Thor watches him unhappily.

Not one of Thor's friends meddles with seidr. It is an art unbecoming of a true warrior – Allfather uses it, but he is King, he cannot be measured by the same standards. Kings ought to know things above and beyond ordinary warriors. And Allfather has made a name for himself in the battlefield as well.

Loki is skilled enough, fast and graceful and deadly. But occasionally Thor feels like he's the only one who sees his brother for who he really is.

"I mean it," Loki says, taking a sip from his wineskin and stretching his long legs before him. "You are scaring the game away. Norns, you are scaring _me_ away when you are like this…"

Thor throws his head back. He cannot take the gloomy, oppressive silence any longer.

"There have been talks," he says, carefully. Loki's sharp laugh cuts him short.

"Really, Thor? Since when do you let idle gossip get beneath your skin?" When Thor says nothing, Loki continues. "So what is it? Someone claims to be a warrior grander than the Mighty Thor? They insult your manhood? Or is it about Lady Sif's honour? Because trust me, brother, you need not worry, she can very well take care of it herself."

"It's you," Thor says. He tries to come up with some way to approach the topic without embarrassing them both, but in the end simply says, "I heard you like to bed men."

His eyes are shut, so that he cannot gauge Loki's reaction for himself.

After a moment of tense silence, Loki huffs a laugh. "So?"

Thor's eyes snap open. Looking at Loki, he sees the very image of careless relaxation. Loki shrugs and smiles, clearly untroubled.

"This is hardly the first time," Loki says. "You needn't care. I certainly don't."

"How can you not care?" Thor says, enraged. "To be spreading such vile rumours about a Prince of Asgard is—"

"Is what? A crime? Are we going to start chopping people's heads off over such minor annoyances?" Loki says.

Thor stares at him angrily.

"They ought to respect you more," he says.

Loki sets his mouth in a thin line. His fingers grip the wineskin, bringing it up to his lips. Thor watches him drink, watches the movement of Loki's exposed throat when he swallows.

"But they don't," Loki says eventually. "Do not concern yourself with this, brother."

"How can I not?"

Loki seems to give this a moment of consideration before he stands up and walks over to Thor. He is frowning, as he kneels down to Thor's eye-level, something wild and savage in his gaze.

Thor no longer has the cold comfort of distance between them. Loki's face is not much easier to read but he can now see a trickle of wine, running from the corner of Loki's lips down to his chin.

"And what if the rumours are true?" Loki says quietly. "What then, brother?"

Thor startles. Loki is jesting, as is his habit. Surely he does not mean this.

"They are not," Thor says, with absolute certainty. "Why would you stoop down to that? I cannot imagine a maiden who would not have you."

Loki smiles faintly and cocks his head to the side.

"But what if my tastes run that way?" he asks.

He is much closer than Thor realized and there is more than idle curiosity in his face. Thor feels trapped, inexplicably so, between the cave wall and the strange look in his brother's eyes.

"Would you cast me aside?" Loki says. "For the shame—"

"I would not," Thor says, because the thought is unbearable and he has no wish to contemplate it. He reaches out, cups Loki's nape in his grip. "Not for this, not for anything."

Loki flashes him a smile. "I'm glad to hear it," he says, and leans forward.

His lips find Thor's and press against them. Thor can taste the wine in his brother's mouth, the softness of the kiss, and the weight behind it.

It lasts a heartbeat or two. Thor is too stunned to move, to do anything except feel. And then the feeling is gone and Loki is pulling away.

"See?" Loki says. There is a faint tremor in his voice, but he holds Thor's gaze. "Not much different than kissing a maiden."

Thor's fingers clench on the nape of his neck. He has never noticed how soft and silky Loki's hair was. He doesn't know what it means, what any of this means—

"So what if I _have_ bedded a man before?" Loki says, his voice still breathless and unsteady, a flush raising in his cheeks. "This is no-one's business except mine."

And it is terrifyingly real now – Loki in somebody's arms. Loki giving himself away, heedless of propriety and station. It is wrong, so very wrong, except Thor has no idea why.

The corner of Loki's lips twitch. His smile is forced, and the lightness in his voice even more so.

"Oh, but you have thought about this, brother," he says sweetly. "Haven't you?"

Thor swallows around his guilt, because the truth is there, written plain on his face. He cannot help the curiosity burning inside him. Even less so now, with the ghost of Loki's kiss upon his lips. It ought to fade but it lingers, and even now his heart thrums unsteadily in his chest.

"I—"

Loki doesn't let him finish. His fingers creep over Thor's legs, nails digging briefly in the flesh of Thor's thigh. He licks his lips – it's a tiny movement but it stirs something inside Thor, something hot and painful. And Loki's hand wanders forward, ever forward, trembling—

"What are you doing?" Thor shouts, springing to his feet. His back hits the wall of the cave and he is ready to bolt, away from Loki's latest mischief.

But he doesn't move. Neither does Loki, who is now kneeling before Thor, wide-eyed and—and _scared_ , Thor realizes. There is fear in his brother's eyes and it does not belong there.

"Let me satisfy your curiosity," Loki says, quiet and almost pleading. The intent in his gaze is unmistakeable.

"You are my _brother_ ," Thor says helplessly.

At that, Loki only grins. "And who else would you trust with this?"

He strokes Thor's thighs, fingers reaching up to the clasp of his belt. His breath hitches when he undoes it. Thor can only stare.

He ought to put an end to this before they go too far. This is wrong, so very wrong – his own brother kneeling before him in such a manner, offering to do this like he was no better than a tavern wench. Offering to—and Thor still cannot wrap his mind around the idea except he _wants_ , now, and the wave of desire makes him tremble.

His cock is half-hard already when Loki uncovers it. Loki's eyes go wide at the sight of it, his cheeks flushing. The first curious touch of his fingers is icy-cold but it warms quickly, and soon he is wrapping his hand around it, stroking up and down—

"Loki—" Thor says faintly, because it is not too late, not yet. They haven't done anything. They can still go back.

"Relax, Thor," Loki says. "Your manhood will still be intact when I'm done with it."

He presses a kiss to the tip of Thor's cock and gives him an experimental lick. It isn't much but it is searing hot, and Thor's heart skips a beat.

"You can always close your eyes and pretend it's somebody else," Loki says. He spares Thor's face a short glance before getting drawn back to his thickening cock. "Fandral. Or Lady Sif—"

Thor wants him to shut up. And he _wants_ to close his eyes, but he can't, because they are fixated on Loki's mouth.

Next lick goes from root to tip, in a wide stripe of what looks like saliva but feels like fire. Loki's tongue curls around the girth before he pulls off – and then leans right back in, taking the head into his mouth.

From there it's a haze of sensation. The inside of his mouth is all wet heat, and the drag of his tongue makes Thor's toes curl. He cannot swallow the entire length of it and so he helps himself with his hand, pausing to wet it with his spit. Thor moans when his cock pops out of Loki's mouth, and Loki looks up at him, startled.

"Is it okay?" he asks.

"Yes," Thor growls back.

Loki's uncertainty is an entirely new flavour of wrong, but Thor has no time to contemplate it. Loki's mouth is back around his cock, sucking it in with a wet, squelching sound. Loki's cheeks are hollowed, the bones of his face even more pronounced. His eyes flutter closed.

Thor wants to watch. He wants to see everything, but his body is reduced to a mess, tied to this one point of twisted, impossible pleasure. His hips buck forward, aching to push deeper, and that startles Loki, makes him pull off—Thor can't have that. He touches Loki's forehead with trembling fingers, and twists them into his inky black hair.

"Don't stop," he asks, hoarse and wretched. Loki opts to hold his hips steady but he goes back to working on Thor, with mouth and tongue and fingers.

Thor's head thuds back against the wall. He loses sight of Loki, loses sight of everything, vision whitening. His hips shove forward but Loki's grip on them is steady and sure, and the rhythm he found is good, so very good, achingly so—and Thor moans because this is too much, the wet heat and the pressure and Loki, Loki, _Loki—_

When he can think again, Loki is spitting on the floor.

"You could have warned me," he says reproachfully, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. It's red and shiny, and there's a drop of semen on his chin.

"I'm sorry," Thor says, helpless.

Loki glares at him. Thor doesn't understand how he can be so calm in the wake of what they have just done; he could swear the world has shifted on its axis.

The rumble of thunder outside makes Loki's eyebrows travel even further up. He gives Thor an incredulous look.

"Really?" he asks.

"Shut up," Thor says.

His cock is utterly spent and glistening with saliva. He wipes it dry and tucks himself in, fastening his belt. Loki meanwhile drains the wineskin, looking more like himself with every minute.

Thor approaches him awkwardly. He hardly knows what to say.

"Don't," Loki says. "This happened. We cannot change that. But we can pretend it didn't, if that would suit you."

Thor sits down on the floor next to him, cupping Loki's face between his hands. His brother has most of his defences back on, and the look he gives Thor is casual and cold.

He doesn't stop Thor from kissing him but doesn't respond either, his movements purely mechanical.

"I want to see you," Thor says, wretched. Loki is withdrawing from him, and Thor can't have that.

"No," Loki says simply.

Thor kisses him again, open-mouthed and desperate. Loki shivers, crowded in Thor's embrace, and makes a valiant effort to pull back.

"You would do that," Thor says, so close now that his lips brush against Loki's skin while he speaks. "But you won't even let me see you?"

"No," Loki says again.

"You have done this before?" Thor asks, not knowing why is it so important.

Loki shivers again and turns his head away. "Of course I have," he says, somewhat stiffly. "Dozens of times."

Maybe he lets the others see him. The other men. Maybe he allows himself to be held and cherished, and only now he is cold, pulling away from Thor. Maybe _they_ are allowed to come closer.

"Leave it," Loki says. Thor kisses his cheek and draws him into an embrace, his arms tightening around Loki of their own volition.

"I love you," he says, because this is a simple, constant truth. Loki has no choice but to accept it.

"Fool," Loki says.

But he stays in Thor's embrace, and although he doesn't say anything, there is peace in this silence. Thor would have no other.

**Author's Note:**

> (Just so you know, Loki's previous sexual partners are a) imaginary and b) Thor.)


End file.
